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Grandparent Scams: How to Spot a Fake Family Emergency

Scammers have targeted the vulnerable for centuries, and modern technology such as cell phones and computers offer them another avenue for fraud. One type of scam that's been around since 2012 or before is the grandparent scam.

AARP reports that in 2017 alone, 20% of people reported losing money because of one of these scams, and as of 2019, total losses were near $3 billion each year. As with any popular scam, assuming the odds will be in your favor and you or that someone you loved won't even be targeted is a poor defense.

Instead, take time to educate yourself — and help keep your older loved ones educated — so you know how to spot and prevent this scam.

What Are Grandparent Scams?

Grandparent scams are cons that prey on older relatives such as grandparents, aunts, uncles or even aging parents. The scams play out with various unique details, but the basic components are the same:

  • Someone emails, calls or texts the loved one. They may call from an unknown number or use technology to spoof a trusted number. Spoofed numbers show up as if they're coming from a recognized number, so the phone might show it as a call from a grandchild.

  • The person claims to be a family member in need or representing a family member in need. They might say they're a medical provider, lawyer, or police officer. In some cases, the caller might say they have abducted the loved one or are going to harm the loved one unless the grandparent takes action.

  • In all cases, payment is requested. The person posing as a grandchild might say they have a medical need or are in trouble with the law and need money right away, for example. If a person is posing as a medical professional, they might say the hospital needs a down payment for an urgent required procedure.

  • The older loved one is given instructions for making the payment. If they do, they never hear about the issue again and are out hundreds or even thousands of dollars.

Classic Signs of Grandparent Scams

The grandparent scam is scary and often successful because it plays on human emotions such as love and fear. The older adult doesn't want anything to happen to their loved one, and they're usually willing to do whatever it takes to ensure their grandchild or other relative is safe. Scammers also create urgency and try to talk and communicate in such a way as to keep the older adult scared, confused and unable to calmly consider the issue at hand.

Some signs of these scams include:

  • The caller gives urgent ultimatums, such as if the person doesn't act immediately, something bad will happen.

  • Someone is asking for money for expenses that are not normal or haven't been discussed in previous in-person conversations. Often, the expenses are out of character for the loved one.

  • The demand for urgent payment doesn't align with common sense knowledge about how things work, but the scammer purposefully offers confusing, forceful, and frightening information that makes it harder to think calmly about the scenario.

  • The instructions are for non-traceable or suspect payment methods, including wire transfers, cash in small bills, or gift cards.

  • Calls come in late at night or at other times designed to instill confusion and fear.

  • The instructions include demands for secrecy, such as not telling other relatives or the authorities about the issue.

Tips for Avoiding Grandparent Scams

Avoid acting immediately if you receive a call of this type. Before you do anything, reach out to the loved one in question via trusted contact methods. Call them on their cell phone, home phone or at work. Visit them in their home if you can. If the person in question is a minor, contact their parent. This lets you ensure they're okay.

Making direct contact also helps you verify the story. In most cases, you'll find out the loved one is not involved in the original phone call and is safely going about their day. In the rare instance where your loved one actually does need money, you can get details and talk calmly about the situation and what you may or may not be able to do to help.

In most cases — including legal and medical scenarios — no one needs money at the immediate moment. And they certainly don't need it via payment methods such as gift cards or small cash bills, which is something most people realize once they're off the phone and past the original adrenaline rush caused by the scammer's communication.

If you receive a call claiming that a loved one has been kidnapped or will be hurt if you don't send payment, contact the loved one to ensure they are currently safe. Let them or their parent know about the call. Then, report the call to local police.

How to Help Protect Your Older Loved One From Grandparent Scams

Adult children or other relatives who are worried about older loved ones falling prey to this type of scam can take action to help educate and protect them. Here are some steps you might take to help keep someone you love from falling for the grandparent scam.

  • Talk about the scam. Print this article out or show it to them on a computer or phone. Ask them to please read it, as you think it's important information. The more someone knows about these types of scams, the less likely they are to work.

  • Make a plan for what should be done if someone receives one of these calls. If someone has a known plan of action, they are more likely to step into it and carry it out during a time of crisis or concern. This is the same principle that applies during a medical emergency when you're supposed to tell a specific person to call 911, not just generally shout it at the room. In a crisis, people work best with specific instructions. Without a plan, your loved one may reach for one — and end up carrying out the instructions provided by the scammer.

  • Offer to be a sounding board that your older loved one can call whenever they aren't sure if a call, email, or other communication is legitimate. Often, just talking calmly about a potential scam helps everyone see that some of the details don't make sense, helping to determine that it's a scam. This is a good tip in general, as it can also help ensure your loved one doesn't end up falling for email phishing or Social Security spoofing scams.

  • Ask your loved one if they would like call blocking software installed on their smartphone. Software can help identify potential scam numbers and let them block robocallers and unknown numbers.

  • Stay in touch regularly. The Federal Trade Commission points out that these types of scams might gain more traction during times such as the COVID-19 pandemic, when people are already worried and may not be able to see loved ones regularly. If family and friends communicate regularly and have recently heard that everyone is safe, they're less likely to fall for this type of scam.

  • Talk to your loved one about options designed to protect them against identity theft. This helps them stay safe from other forms of fraud and theft, but it also might reduce the chances they're hit with a grandparent scam. Scams that are most successful are those that hold some bit of truth. To do this, scammers must know information such as the loved one's name and phone number as well as the name and some facts about the relative in question.